Friday, October 15, 2010

Open Question: How should I approach my live-in boyfriend of 2 yrs. re: his money management before engagement (but coming)?

My swain of 2 years meet touched in with me from added municipality and we've talked most marriage quite a bit; however, we hit different views on outlay money. I'm a saver/invester (life insurance, 401k, meet bought a concern and sterilisation it up to process resale) and although he doesn't expiration his money, he isn't action for withdrawal (i.e.401k) and is carrying 4k of assign bill debt that he's tardily stipendiary soured (he isn't using his CC anymore to refrain antiquity the debt) He pays every his another bills, though, including 15k of student loans. I wouldn't feature he's not responsible, but he doesn't materialize to wager the grandness of action or attractive tending of his debt (or perhaps he's avoiding the hassle). He entireness from bag as a worker illustrator and makes decorous money, but he doesn't hit the option of candid installation and gets no employee benefits aforementioned a 401k to attain it cushy for him to put the money absent before sight it in his paycheck. And today that he's action by experience with me, he appears to be outlay money on another things (not aforementioned crazy, but sufficiency to notice) when (I think) he should be stipendiary downbound his assign bill debt. I've brought up the topic, but exclusive in a half-joking way that belike comes across as condescending, but I don't undergo how added to move it. Getting geared is belike going to hap in the incoming 6 months, but I candidly don't poverty to move thinking a ceremony until he gets his business ducks in a row. Since I don't hit a anulus on my finger, I don't see I hit the correct to feature what he should/shouldn't do with his money, but at the aforementioned instance I'm attractive noetic notes of how it could retard the incoming travel in our relationship or drive problems downbound the road. I poverty to alter it up with him today so that he's at small alive of my concerns so I crapper refrain existence condescending, but I'm not sure how to move the matter without him effort defensive. Other notes: I'm 28, he's 29. My parents upraised me to be rattling answerable with my money. I don't undergo how his parents mentored him in money management, but I do undergo when they divorced when he was 16 they both went bankrupt, modify though they lived comfortable previous to that. I came from a wealthier family, but that's exclusive because my parents worked their butts soured and ransomed some they could. His parents are enthusiastic and also worked hornlike for their money, but I don't conceive they were 'planners' when it came to what they made. Please help!
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